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A Field Neglected, Gets Covered With Weeds - Part Two

Mental illness is not my fault or your fault
and for that matter there is no liability onFor those of us blessed with this ailment the
anyone for its occurrence. It is genetic andfuture is pretty bleak, tough and has a
being clinical or biological does not sootheslight shred of hope with the advances in
or calm the mind. For me it gave me amedicine and the understanding of how our
temporary respite to know that there was antotal chemistry works in union with hormones,
answer, but then the truth permeated andminerals and vitamins. Trial and error is the
settled with an alarming reality that this ismain approach as we are all so individual and
a lifelong treatment plan if it is to bewhat works successfully for me may not work
abated.for  another  client.
There is no cure and as such it is chronic inPatience at this stage is very important,
its diagnosis and one has to accept that itsupport is magical and encouragement is like
has to be lived with. Many who suffer and area warm blanket. A lot has yet to be known and
on a successful treatment plan keep it quietdiscovered really. But meanwhile back at the
so as not to receive rejection, name-calling,funny  farm,  life  is  far  from  humorous.
loss of promotion and maybe even loss of a
job. Mental illness successfully managedMy life of turmoil began years ago, to be
gives a new lease of life to the patient andexact I have no idea when. Imagine you are in
many go on to succeed in areas beyond theira dark cave and all the passages stemming to
wildest dreams. Many times doing better thanand fro are equally dark. Occasionally there
the so-called 'normal people'. A word thatis a wee bit of reprieve when a glimmer of
has yet to be given a satisfactorysunlight peeks through and as I creep closer
explanation, for me anyway it is all relativeit vanishes and therefore I retreat deeper
to  the  mindset  of  the  individual.into  my  cave.
To live in the life of one with manicNow imagine living behind a mask of wonderful
depression is a far cry from the expected wayappearance and to the entire world ones
of life of normal thinking. What follows willtwinkling eyes are a reflection of happiness
give you a brief insight into theand my enthusiasm is a sign that all is well
overwhelming darkness that has its ownwithin my framework and I am delightful to be
reality.around. Sounds great, does it not? It would
if  it  was  true.
Escaping reality, what is reality? Reality
for me is the constant ache of helplessness,Behind the mask the continuous question
hopelessness and worrying about what is wrongremains ever present, am I doing all right?
with me? Having a chronic mental illness isYes everyone is convinced I am fine and happy
no walk in the park. Compared to tangibleas a lark and will leave me alone. How much
diseases or being locked in jail, thefurther from the truth this picture is, as
intangible concepts of mental illness make itthe emptiness is all invasive and tearing me
that much harder to accept and comprehend asapart. I used to be able to participate but
a  patient.lately I just want to be left alone. Not
because of the 'why me', or feeling sorry for
The general public is truly in ignorancemyself, but because it is easier and less
about mental illness and many prefer totraumatic to be alone in my world than
remain in that state because of 'thewearing the mask to be in the other world.
unknown'.



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