| Mental illness is not my fault or your fault | | | | |
| and for that matter there is no liability on | | | | For those of us blessed with this ailment the |
| anyone for its occurrence. It is genetic and | | | | future is pretty bleak, tough and has a |
| being clinical or biological does not soothe | | | | slight shred of hope with the advances in |
| or calm the mind. For me it gave me a | | | | medicine and the understanding of how our |
| temporary respite to know that there was an | | | | total chemistry works in union with hormones, |
| answer, but then the truth permeated and | | | | minerals and vitamins. Trial and error is the |
| settled with an alarming reality that this is | | | | main approach as we are all so individual and |
| a lifelong treatment plan if it is to be | | | | what works successfully for me may not work |
| abated. | | | | for another client. |
| | | | |
| There is no cure and as such it is chronic in | | | | Patience at this stage is very important, |
| its diagnosis and one has to accept that it | | | | support is magical and encouragement is like |
| has to be lived with. Many who suffer and are | | | | a warm blanket. A lot has yet to be known and |
| on a successful treatment plan keep it quiet | | | | discovered really. But meanwhile back at the |
| so as not to receive rejection, name-calling, | | | | funny farm, life is far from humorous. |
| loss of promotion and maybe even loss of a | | | | |
| job. Mental illness successfully managed | | | | My life of turmoil began years ago, to be |
| gives a new lease of life to the patient and | | | | exact I have no idea when. Imagine you are in |
| many go on to succeed in areas beyond their | | | | a dark cave and all the passages stemming to |
| wildest dreams. Many times doing better than | | | | and fro are equally dark. Occasionally there |
| the so-called 'normal people'. A word that | | | | is a wee bit of reprieve when a glimmer of |
| has yet to be given a satisfactory | | | | sunlight peeks through and as I creep closer |
| explanation, for me anyway it is all relative | | | | it vanishes and therefore I retreat deeper |
| to the mindset of the individual. | | | | into my cave. |
| | | | |
| To live in the life of one with manic | | | | Now imagine living behind a mask of wonderful |
| depression is a far cry from the expected way | | | | appearance and to the entire world ones |
| of life of normal thinking. What follows will | | | | twinkling eyes are a reflection of happiness |
| give you a brief insight into the | | | | and my enthusiasm is a sign that all is well |
| overwhelming darkness that has its own | | | | within my framework and I am delightful to be |
| reality. | | | | around. Sounds great, does it not? It would |
| | | | if it was true. |
| Escaping reality, what is reality? Reality | | | | |
| for me is the constant ache of helplessness, | | | | Behind the mask the continuous question |
| hopelessness and worrying about what is wrong | | | | remains ever present, am I doing all right? |
| with me? Having a chronic mental illness is | | | | Yes everyone is convinced I am fine and happy |
| no walk in the park. Compared to tangible | | | | as a lark and will leave me alone. How much |
| diseases or being locked in jail, the | | | | further from the truth this picture is, as |
| intangible concepts of mental illness make it | | | | the emptiness is all invasive and tearing me |
| that much harder to accept and comprehend as | | | | apart. I used to be able to participate but |
| a patient. | | | | lately I just want to be left alone. Not |
| | | | because of the 'why me', or feeling sorry for |
| The general public is truly in ignorance | | | | myself, but because it is easier and less |
| about mental illness and many prefer to | | | | traumatic to be alone in my world than |
| remain in that state because of 'the | | | | wearing the mask to be in the other world. |
| unknown'. | | | | |