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Article #19: My Inaugural Address at the Great White Throne Judgment of the Dead

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MY INAUGUAL ADDRESS AT THE GREAT WHITE need do is to make life simple and easy.
THRONE JUDGMENT OF THE DEAD You only go through once. We should
Alvin Miller arrange our lives so that we work very
September, 2005 little, and spend lots of our time
. visiting friends and relatives. That's
real living, not this rocket rat race we
PREFACE run here. We live way too fast. We
Important note: Read my 1986 booklet don't have time to stop and smell the
before you read this. roses. Where I going to take you, you'll
What follows is a rough draft transcript have time to enjoy life. Satan never
(subject to change when I actually give sleeps. The Devil's work is never done.
it) of my inaugural address (presumably Practically all the work you here do is
in Washington, D. C.?) before global in service of Satan. There are whole
television at the Great White Throne whole categories of goods that we won't
Judgment of the Dead, after I have be making in the New Jerusalem. For
raptured out billions of corpses - starters their will be no fashion clothes
laying on the ground (a fairy dump- or makeup. A little bit of soap and
rabbits running in the ditch)! Feel free water is all any woman needs. It was the
to believe what I've set down here are fallen angels who descended to earth
the ravings of a madman, because that is because the women were fair who taught
precisely what they are! I have the use of cosmetics. They were dolls in
assembled this book in a series of those days also, exactly as once again.
vignettes. Norman O. Brown, my mentor, And, as I said, the more dolls the deeper
used a similar technique. You'll find I you are in Hell. And we will be strong
use terminology that may seem alien to and have no sexy lingerie, precisely
Christianity: wizards, witches and because we have a weakness for that
fairies, etc. Part of the problem that stuff. We definitely will have no rocket
the King James Bible mistranslated the ships (more later). We will likely have
word sorcery referring to potions. This few or any aircraft and cars. As time
is strictly adult material. This is off goes on, we literally will become more
limits to children, and this means you. and more stupid. Later people will look
If your jaw didn't drop when you read my at all the technological artifacts around
1986 booklet, I 100% guarantee it will laying in ruins, and be quite dumbfounded
drop now. I repeat my annoyance at you and superstitious about them. The
'Christians' who have repeatedly affliction I have makes me personally
attacked my site. Jesus prophecied that more and more stupid, and I have the
all prophets must get stoned. Your power to make others stupid. We won't be
scurrilous, underhanded attacks prove starving in the New Jerusalem. There
what you really are - Pharisees who will be enough to be mildly prosperous,
observe the letter of the Law, but not but there will be no rich men there. We
the Spirit. You are shortly going to be will be doing simple craftsman jobs.
rewarded by your Master for your faithful Einstein said that in a previous life he
service! Get a life and stop giving me had worked as a Jewish tailor. In the
trouble! You know that if you faced me New Jerusalem, Einsteins will be born,
in a one on one debate, I would wipe you but will mostly work at simple jobs.
out! If you are angry at what I say, We'll miss out on their scientific
simply vent at my guestbook with specific contributions. If Einstein had never
criticisms. You'll note that in the PDF existed, we would have missed out on the
and RTF version of this, the paragraph quantum leaps he made. But we have
tabs are often wrong. This is due to billions of years. There is no hurry.
malfuntion of the the word processor. We'll pick it all up eventually. But
So, finally, it all begins next page! currently, as we head for the New
MY INAUGURAL ADDRESS AT THE GREAT WHITE Jerusalem, we'll become too stupid to do
THRONE JUDGMENT OF THE DEAD much theoretical physics, etc.
Introducing Myself I want to say something to the suicide
(The time is midnight E.S.T. I stand bombers, I want to tell you that I hear
before global television to explain my you loud and clear (pointing at the
rapturing out billions. I made the camera). You see that the West has
broadcast at this hour to help prevent violated the taboo, and you don't with
the possibility that any children would your burkas. Your mullahs have issued a
see this, although in different time directive that the West is the Great
zones around the world children are up). Satan. They were too timid. We're in
Good evening ladies and gentlemen. I'm planetwide Hell, and that includes you in
addressing you from Washington, D.C., the the Middle East. You Muslims see all the
political capital of Hell. I have dolls here in Hell. I am on the case.
descended here to the pit of Hell to I'm shortly going to remove them all. In
address you. Before I begin, I want to the meantime, I ask you to lighten up and
insist that no children view this stop the bombings. And the carnage.
broadcast. This is off limits to anyone What you're after, I shortly will
under 12 years old. Leave the room, and accomplish. Listen to me, suicide
go to bed! You will find that I talk bombers! I am totally against your
fast, that I change the subject cause, but because I'm also a fanatic, I
frequently, and in general it will come understand you're mental makeup. Listen
across as incoherent gibberish. You'll to me! I'm going to put the dolls to
wake up tomorrow morning and go 'what did sleep, and solve the problem. Adolph
he say?' You'll try to remember, but Hitler had white armbands on his
you'll have a hard time. I urge you to followers. By the way, while I'm
record this address, and to watch it speaking of him, he is an excellent
several times, as each time you'll pick candidate to be the Antichrist. He took
up more. the Christian cross and twisted it
You'll notice that I will be talking a backward - the swastika. He was a total
lot about myself this evening. This is misfit, a homeless man who couldn't get
because the more you know about where I'm laid, like someone 2000 years ago. But
coming from, the better off you'll be. unlike Jesus and I, Hitler turned to the
Let me formally introduce myself. You've darkside and served his master, Satan.
seen me before, but now I'm going to He , unlike Jesus and I, got only halfway
reveal who I really am. Have you ever toward being a god. He was a demigod -
seen a ghost? Have you ever seen a half man and half god. A little
spook? Now you can say you've seen a knowledge is a dangerous thing, and he
ghost. I'm the ghost with the most. I'm knew just enough to cause big trouble.
the space ghost. You have seen many . I happily have never personally been
ghosts. My colleagues are on practically homeless. But I have been womanless all
every street corner in every city around my life always, knowing that the woman
the world, ranting and raving and who was meant for me has all this time
spouting gibberish. When you look at me been in the arms of another man. This
you'll see that I have no eyes - empty has always been hard to take. Without a
sockets instead (waving my hand in front mate to help with the household chores, I
of my face). I am an invisible man. neglected them. With the illness I
There is no person here, never has been have, I'm always preoccupied - always in
and never will be. You are looking at a a trance state. I have frequent out of
total vacuum. There is nothing here - body experiences, where I go off on
only empty air. When you look at me you extended voyages to other worlds. I
see no person - you are looking directly don't need a rocketship! I am in
at my Id - my unconscious. And most continual meditation, and doing the
people find it highly disturbing to look chores is an unwanted distraction. My
at the face of the Lord, my face. In house is pretty funky, and I am
fact, I'm a raving lunatic, and this personally funky. You see the effects of
insanity I have is a deadly poison. Most this illness on the greasy, shabby
of my fellow mad people are bottom clothes of the homeless. In my new
feeders. With this disease, we are position as head of state, I will be able
incompetent to keep ourselves together, to have butlers attend to my everyday
and we fall to the bottom, with many chores. I will be privileged to stay in
becoming homeless, committing suicide or my trance state full time. . This
drugging themselves into oblivion. It is a fascist state as of this moment, in
makes us into total misfits. DOAs - Dead case you didn't know. In fact, it is the
on Arrival. Jesus, a poor Jewish dictatorship of the proletariat. It is
peasant, was a bottom feeder also. When rule by the meek, or, as Jesus said,
you're on the bottom, you look up at all 'the last shall be first.' I'm ready to
the so-called leaders, and you know that rock and rule - a 1982 film. I' m
all of them are the wrong people. As getting ready to hoist the Jolly Roger
Jesus said, it is wisdom hidden from the (skull and crossbones. - I hold up a
wise, but given to babes. If you have Jolly Roger flag). This is our new
ears to hear, Jesus was himself also mad. national flag. This is a now pirate
The gods must be crazy! Jesus was very state - a rogue state. This nation is
sensitive to natural disasters, because canceling it's membership in a number of
like them as a madman he was walking organizations. We are no longer a part
dynamite liable to explode at a moment's of the United Nations, the World Trade
notice with all the force of an Organization, the World Bank and many
earthquake. Jesus was a piece of human other organizations. We are abrogating
waste - human garbage. And so am I. A numerous treaties, such as NAFTA. When
significant number of theologians, and I the lease for renewal comes up, the U.N.
also, believe Jesus was the bastard son will be kicked out of New York city and
of a Roman centurion. The idea of virgin the U.S. With the armbands, everyone
birth arose because an Old Testament will see those recorded in the Book of
scripture was mistranslated. We the gods Life everyday. These people are the
live in a parallel universe right next Elect, and it has nothing to do with what
door to this one. I stepped through the they believe. I reward and punish you
looking glass on my mission. based solely on what you do in the
Just like Jesus, I am here to serve. I bedroom. The armband wearers are
don't want you to worship me. You don't declaring in public that their behavior
have to believe a thing I say. Believe in the bedroom is straight and narrow, as
what you want. For example, you may everyone's always should be. Nothing
believe I'm the Antichrist, which I else matters. As time goes by, you'll be
deny. But believe what you want. Your seeing more and more of the Elect. And
beliefs don't concern me. I'm her to over time, they will more and more assume
straighten out your behavior, positions of leadership - their rightful
specifically, as you will see, your place. These Elect will form the new
behavior in the bedroom. That is the Ruling Class. They will form up my High
special mission I'm on. When you see me, Command, at my right hand side. By the
you've seen the father. Every eye shall time we get to the New Jerusalem
see him. There can be only one. centuries from now, we'll remove the
Both Jesus and I are in fact wizards. I armbands, because everyone there will be
am the second most powerful wizard that recorded in the Book of Life! The last
has ever walked the face of this earth. thing you think you want is a king But,
Jesus is better than me for two reasons. it is mandatory to have a king, and he
Jesus was working in his thirties, half must have the power of life and death.
my age. He has me beat, because his It is my (God's) mandate. The correct
member would come up better than mine. form of government is theocracy with God
I'm twice the age he was when he was incarnate in the flesh as head, always a
preaching, and mine doesn't come up like male virgin and totally mad. John of
it used to. Also, he had sharp wit and Patmos had prophesied that I will rule
eloquence and always said the right with a Rod of Iron. And I and all my
thing. By contrast, I tend to ramble. successors will. The government of Tibet
You have met your maker. You object that is structured like this with it's Dali
you see nothing but a lunatic standing Lama. The way this works is: I only
here. But, I, God, did make you in the grant audience to those I summon. And
following sense. I set the rules for you you voluntarily decide whether to appear.
to live by - the Ten Commandments and the I call on you, you don't call on me. I
Sermon on the Mount. If you disobey my hang 'em high! You displease me, I
rules and go to Hell, as always, I get execute you. All the democratic republics
my willie working below my belt and around the world have degenerated into
rapture you devils out. It was always chaos and anarchy. Eternal vigilance is
ambiguous about who would be raptured the price of liberty, and you have failed
out. Would it be the elect or would it in your responsibility. You kissed off
be the lost? The answer is both! your republic in the sixties, when sexual
Anybody and everybody that I could immorality and orgies broke out. But it
remove I wanted gone. You who are left is true that once we get to the New
behind that I am addressing are the same Jerusalem, and we live in small
mix as those I removed. My planet is in settlements, there will likely be few
emergency mode, with billions of you kings. My religion is Christianity, but
devils running around destroying it. I'm politically I have never been anything
getting ready to give you the judgment. but a hard core communist. I'll say more
I wash my hands of you! I would like later about that. Every person in the
nothing better that to stick all of you Book of Life will wear their white
devils is a gas chamber and slam the door armband whenever they're out in the
shut! Once again, I, Victor Frankenstein, public. They are the virgins, those who
have created another botched laboratory have been chaste for more than five
experiment. I have to remove you, so I years, and all those who have been
can start over again with a new Adam and faithful to their spouses. I realize
Eve. Get off my planet you devils! Get that some of the latter will be
off my planet! I've had it with you! hypocrites, that in point of fact they
You are made in my image. This simply have committed adultery but won't admit
means that you don't have to live with it. I'm proud of the Catholics who,
continuous mental and physical pain that under severe pressure here in Hell,
we mad people - specifically the gods - maintained the requirement that priests
feel every day from sunup to sundown must be celibate. I said my father was
every second of our lives. What I have a Baptist preacher. All versions of
is contagious, infectious and deadly. Protestantism, such as Baptists,
Don't come close to me! Let sleeping Presbyterians, Methodists, etc., trace
dogs lie! The Wolf Man was lucky, back to Martin Luther. He was a
because he shape-shifted only once a marvelous theologian with a strong hatred
month at the full moon. I, by contrast, of the Devil. But what is the one thing
shape-shift all day long from second to about him that everyone in the audience
second. I melt down and reform myself knew as he was preaching in the pulpit?
into a another person regularly. If I Everyone knew that he was a lapsed monk
get around anyone, involuntarily, I form who married a former nun. He was getting
myself into a duplicate of them. Part of his. He was getting laid. He can't tell
the power I possess is to temporarily anyone anything. And neither can any
pass on to you the continual pain I feel Protestant minister. . Back to the
(mass psychosis). The source of the pain armbands. No divorced people can wear
we mad people feel is you with all the armbands. Anyone who had had oral sex
evil deeds you do. When you commit evil (Bill Clinton) is not a virgin. All
acts, we are put into pain. (Imitating children when they first begin to walk
the weird voice of the Shadow) 'Who knows will wear the white armband. This way,
what evil lurks in the hearts of men? everyone can see who is recorded in the
The Shadow knows!' For awhile, you get Book of Life - the Elect.
to walk in my shoes. And when you do so, Whatever religious faith you believe in
you drop dead in your tracks - it's my put on the armband. Put a gold cross for
deadly blessing! (I start singing the Christians, crescent for Muslims, Star of
rock song) 'I got the power! I got the David for Jews, black 0 for atheists,
power!' Indeed I do have the power, and hammer and sickle for Communists (I'm one
it's is a deadly poison! Out of all the of the last of them on the planet),
millions of mad people on the planet question mark (?) for children, etc.
right now, probably less than a handful Remember that Hitler had all Jews wear a
possess all the powers I have. Madness yellow Star of David. They were thus
is incurable, and there is a progressive labeled as outcast vermin on the bottom.
deterioration. I am at the final stages Here those Jews eligible will wear the
of a fatal disease. My brain has melted white armband to indicate that they are
into goo, and I'm in continuous physical on top - the Elect. Again, 'the last
pain. Jesus of course had the same shall be first.'
affliction. Again, the gods must be In addition to a marker for their faith,
crazy. And so did Moses, for that virgins will have a V on their armband.
matter. He was his own special effects Those with a V are eligible for my High
man, as when he bested the Egyptian Command. Those who are chaste will add a
wizards in his magic duels. I, like C. Those who've been faithful to their
Moses, am accompanied by my magic wand. spouses will add M for married.
It below my belt. Norman O. Brown in Instant Prophet
'Closing Time' quotes James Joyce's I can make anyone an instant 100%
'Finnegans Wake', 'He lifts up the accurate prophet. What was the one thing
lifewand and the dumb speak.' At one that everyone knew in the Roman Empire at
point during the Exodus, the Hebrews he the time Jesus was preaching in Gallilee,
was leading decided that Moses was out to even without newspapers? They all knew
kill them. After all, they knew he was that in the Roman Cities, especially Rome
mad. When they protested to him, Moses itself, they were having fabulous orgies.
dropped two of them dead in their The automatic consequence is that Rome
tracks.. Moses said that God struck them was going to fall. And we have had even
down, but it was really only Moses doing better, more astonishing orgies starting
the special effects. in the late sixties. The only thing that
I'm the Captain slowed it down somewhat was AIDs. The
I, Captain Nemo, am the captain of this orgies held in Rome can't hold a candle
ship - always have been and always will to the orgies we've had here. Thus,
be. But, as passengers, I advise you to Western Civilization is toast. The horse
stroll over the decks to the railings and (Western Civilization) we're riding has
look over the side of the ship. You see keeled over. And there's no use beating
the name Titanic painted on the side. a dead horse. The writing's on the wall!
Now look down at the waterline. There's The moving finger has writ! Tis nothing
a huge gash and we're taking on water. less than the end of the world! The
We're going down! Soon we'll be stars are falling out! As Chicken Little
underwater. Glub! Glub! Not much time proclaims, 'the sky is falling!' Chicken
left.. Glub! Glub! Little is on movie screens November,
The Joke 2005.
I want to start off with a little humor. The Witches
Speakers always begin with a joke: I'm here on a mission. I've come to
I notice these days that so many of you remove all the dolls! These are
have piled on the pounds, you're getting dreamgirls, and that is precisely where
the love handles, and some of you are so they should be. You should never be able
roly poly that you're round like a to see them in flesh and blood. I'm
beachball. There is a reason you're that going to put them in back your dreams
way. Just like pigs led to slaughter are where they belong. And after I remove
fattened up so that the flavor is them, you'll dream about them at night -
improved, we, the fairies, have stuffed you'll remember how gorgeous they looked
you full of fairy food - junk food laden and have wetdreams about them.
with fat and calories. This is so that I'm going to take them all back to where
when we slice you up and cook you, the they came from - back to Witch Mountain.
fat gives more flavor. That's their home - they like it there.
Twilight Zone: Cookbook - To Serve Man And at night when the moon comes out,
I'm sure that has you rolling in the they'll all strip naked, join hands in a
aisles. But seriously, you spend circle, and do the moondance, the Witch's
billions every year on diet products and Sabbat. I am going to make sure and keep
gym memberships. I am going to save you them there once I have them there, and
a lot of money. I'm going to solve your you'll see no more dolls.
problem. You'll find that when you have This is a Witch Hunt! The one and only
no food at all to eat, you have no original Witch Hunt, and I'm the
problem losing weight. It will melt Witchfinder General! Let me be clear.
right off. I'm not talking about the little pagans
. The Great White or wiccans. There aren't many of them,
Throne Judgment of the Dead and they are all nitwits. They don't
Now that the preliminaries are out of the have any power at all. If they were real
way, we can get to the main business of witches they would recognize the millions
the evening. I have you summoned here of powerful witches, the dolls, we have
this evening for a special reason. here in Hell.
Welcome to my Dead Man's Party! Step My Favorite Sport
forward ladies and gentlemen. And as you Now I want to describe my favorite sport.
step forward, you will notice that all It is the sport of aristocrats, the
the doors behind you are being slammed sport royalty, the sport of kings and the
shut and barred. You are going nowhere. sport of Gods. This is how I did my
You are going to stand before me and not magic act and raptured billions out.
move! (Stolen from Vincent Price - What I do is a dance. Quoting the song:
'House on a Haunted Hill'). Right here, '"I got a new dance, and it goes like
right now, this very moment at the this'" But actually, it's an ancient
witching hour of midnight is the Great dance going back to the Stone Age
White Throne Judgment of the Dead! This shamans. This is the dance that all
is the Second Resurrection. As Joyce native medicine men do.
prophesied in Finnegans Wake: 'Array! Let me give some names for my what I do:
Surrection!' - Resurrection and array. Rain Dancing, Rain Making, Doing The
Receive you're Judgment from the Lord. Swerve, Space Fucking, Fairy Fucking and
I'm getting ready to give you the Dr. finally the best and most descriptive
Strangelove address. In the film, he was name: Fairy Bowling. Feel free to
an ex-Nazi whose message was: the practice this by yourself or in groups.
apocalypse is here and head for the Develop your own style. Have fun with
hills - the same message as Jesus. it.
First of all, why do I say you are all I stand and start flipping, flinging,
dead? I am addressing only dead people flipping, flinging, flipping. As a
this evening. That is you and you and wizard, I'm going to call up a rainstorm,
you (pointing to members of the thunder and lightning (holding my arms
audience). You have passed over. You up, I start flipping , flinging,
are no longer human! You once were. flipping). This is the gesture that
Then you became the Godless Wicked. And priests use when sprinkling holy water.
now, in fact, you have become the devils, I'm a thunder roarer! I get it working,
demons and monsters of Hell. You have get it working, flipping, flinging. What
passed over to the Twilight Zone, the am I flipping? It never was about liquid
Forbidden Planet, the Forbidden Zone, the H2O, water. What I am flipping is sperm.
Dead Zone. Everyone on this planet had I get it working, working and after a
been dead since I and my assistants while the slime starts flying here, there
(known variously as angels, scanners, and everywhere. Eventually it starts
watchers, dreamers, hearts) first blew raining men planetwide. My fellow mad
the horn in the seventies. people know about this rain that falls on
Now the Judgment begins. You hold paper a sunny day - a phrase from a rock
and pens in your hands. You are going to lyric. The cliché bag lady who wears
do some writing for me. John of Patmos tin foil to protect herself knows about
and others have described what is about the lightning I send. Mad people use the
to take place. But they saw through a metaphor of being struck by lightning or
glass darkly. What is going to take electricity. But it is just drops of
place is somewhat different from his jism. When you're struck by jism, its
description. You are going to be fast, hot and it sizzles, and you think of
accurate and you are going to leave lightning or electricity. The idea is:
nothing out. What you write will